Gossip and Commitment

You know, success in anything is determined by the power behind what needs to be attained. When I travel alone I have lots of time to think and many thoughts have come to me during my travels. Lately, I have been thinking about absenting myself from Friday service and Pournami pooja. There are many reasons for this, two of which I will explain now.

Firstly, gossip is rife here. I knew what was being discussed in Cowies Hill last week. That, for me, is disastrous. When two people are talking and somebody secretly texts somebody else, and that text comes to me by error – believe me, it's no error. None of you know me beyond the physical body. That is what helps you all – not this physical body. Gossip is like rust in a car and it will spread and destroy the car. So, this is my first problem: that we are still gossiping. We must either take the gossip route and stay out of the temple; or take the divine route and stay in the temple. This is very important.

My second reason is the youth. They have become like their parents: full of excuses. They have too much homework, therefore they can't do this or that at the ashram. But they will be at a family function or a friend's party. Priority is not being given to the spiritual journey and to God. And that means that I have failed in my duty with all of you. There's no exceptions here. I have failed in my duty to lead you, and to take you to another level. And the only reason I've failed is because I am too good to you.

I need to concentrate all my energy in a place called Batticaolo. What I've been telling you for some time has come true now. There are two places: one is called Viyonia and the other Batticcalao. I'm giving you a taste of not having me here for a long time. Until I have commitment from everybody, I won't be in service. When you give me the commitment that this centre will be run like an ashram – that is, everybody – I will come back. I just went away for ten days and you failed miserably in many of the things that needed to be done. Ten days - imagine if it was six months. You didn't only fail me, you failed my Master. And that to me is the biggest burden in failing me. If you failed my Master it means that I failed him too. So, there it is. Because I'm going to Joburg now, I had to tell you this and you need to know this. As of now, on Fridays, until I can get one hundred percent commitment – no deviation – I'll start coming back. I'll just sit in my room. I'll tell you one thing, if I switch off, I switch off. Just ten days ... and the gossip – and the youth not following. The twins never did their ashram homework. Their excuse is that they have school work to do. I think for me excuses are signs of failure. I have never found an excuse in my life not to do something. I've always found a reason to do it. And here we have them full of excuses. Then you'll tell me you're writing exams. The journey is not like that.

When I'm finished with you you should know the Bhagavad Gita but I can't do that because you don't have interest. You should know Patanjali's Yoga Sutra but you are lazy. You sit in front of the TV and watch all those rubbish programmes, and your mind becomes like the programmes: rubbish. You need to take a cue now because I'll be leaving just now, and from there you tell me what you want. I have been really disturbed in these ten days. Very disturbed. Some of the things I heard from Sri Lankan devotees about Verulam, about the ashram – I almost fell on my back. In that time that you gossip, rather do japa. In that time of texting all those people, do japa. You'll be closer to God.

When I went to Batticalo, somebody told me something; I went to Thumbleville two girls told me something else. I couldn't deny it because it happened here. You know one girl said to me: “Swamiji, I don't know how the South African devotees look at you because I have been told in contact over this texting and facebook that you can be a very miserable man.” I am hard, but not miserable. I have never been miserable to anybody. I'll tell you what kind of a man I am. I was driving from Durban the other day, somewhere at the Phoenix turn-off, when I had a strong feeling to call Avesha so I phoned Ashveer. Nobody answered but he phoned me back and I asked how everyone was doing. He said that everything was fine but Avesha had a car accident – and he gave me all the details. I was really tired, but I went and saw her and made sure she was okay. That's how miserable I am. How can I be a miserable individual, tell me? I don't want to tell you all the other stories because you will fall off your chairs, I promise you. I insult you in front of everybody. That is my way of teaching – to reduce your egos. That is how you learn. If I take you over there and insult you, you won't learn anything. That is something I won't change. Please, just give me your commitment. Carry on with your service. If I can get the commitment from every one of you that you'll take this ashram to the next level then I'll come back.

So, I'm always tired. This is not true. Did I ever complain to any one of you that I'm tired, or do I sit here until midnight with you. Maybe I said I was tired once or twice when I've just come back from India on a Friday evening – so you decide what you want.